I Need Some Serenity

Mirror, Mirror

Sometimes I’m ready to hit publish on one of these posts, BUT something (ahem, Jesus) whispers “no, not yet!” And, of course, He is right every time! Before I could hit submit, I first needed more review on a lesson I thought I already knew by our wonderful, Heavenly Father.

Merriam Webster defines serenity as “the quality or state of being serene.”

It defines serene as “marked by or suggestive of utter calm and unruffled repose or quietude,” and “clear and free of storms or unpleasant change,” and “shining bright and steady.”

Who doesn’t want to be free of storms or unpleasant change? Who wouldn’t want to be steady?

Put me first in line for all that. Yes, please and thank you!

At the start of this academic season, I was sent the serenity prayer over email. I was going through some stuff, as we all do from time to…

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On May 11th, 2019

As I sit here today watching the class of 2019 walk across the stage, I’m left with my thoughts. The inevitable “what if’s”.

For the past few weeks I’ve been sad. More than I have let on. You see… these are my people. The people that graduated High School when I did, the people that entered college when I did. I’m seeing a lot of the friends I’ve made over the last four years grow up into amazing young men and women and walk across that stage into what feels like the end. 

But it’s not the end. It’s not the end of our friendships…of the times we’ve spent together. It’s just the beginning. Now we won’t just be 5 minutes away, but miles and miles apart. But there’s good in that. Now is the time to visit one another. To take trips together. To live.

With that being said… I’m so incredibly proud of each and every one of you. Whether I know your name or not. Whether you’re graduating on time or not. You are my people and I love you dearly. Congratulations to the class of 2019.

Now back to the what if’s… like I said, these are my people. But at the same time they aren’t. You see some of us take a little bit longer to get to our destination. God intended for me to graduate college in 6 years, not 4. But with that, comes more responsibility. I’ll be a doctor. I’ll be a medical professional. I’ll be a PHARMACIST. And that is my calling. 

If you knew me when I was younger, you’d know. I’ve always wanted to be a pharmacist. So here we go. I may be sad now, but my time will come and it will be much deserved and much awaited. 

So here’s to us: the doctoral class of 2021. Here’s to our true calling. We got this!! 

And to those of you taking a little bit longer, don’t forget that your time will come and that beautiful things are awaiting you at YOUR finish line. Keep pushing through. 

Stay Golden, 

Emily

I Refuse to Let IT Control Me.

For at least 10 years, I have been controlled by the demon inside of me. I’ve let it dictate my actions. I’ve let it dictate what I say. I refuse to let this anxiety cripple me anymore.

I’m writing this because I’m finally ready to let it all out. Sure, I’ve written blog posts about anxiety before, but I’m finally ready to lay out all the dirty details.

I’m not sure where exactly my anxiety stems from, but I do remember that in middle school I was bullied for being too skinny. People constantly asking me if I’m anorexic or if I need something to eat. People telling me to go eat a burger or 2. I started being self-conscious. I started feeling anxious every time that I was around new people. I felt like everyone was judging me. That’s the first time in my life that I remember the voices coming. “Nobody likes you,” “you’re too skinny,” “you look weird,” “you’re a failure.” Constant voices in my head that never go away. I’m not sure if the anxiety started there, but that’s the first thing that I can remember from my childhood.

It also could have been because of the fact that in high school I got physically and mentally abused by people who I thought were my best friends before that. The fact that I was never good at picking friends and never really understood why I felt so alone.

Then there’s, of course, the fact that I hate being in big crowds… I hate meeting new people because there’s this constant nagging feeling.

The constant feeling that everyone is watching me and judging me didn’t stop there. I’ve always felt that way. I can’t even go to class without feeling anxious because someone is judging me. I can’t raise my hand and answer a question I know the answer to because I don’t want to draw attention. I can’t make eye contact with people that I don’t know because I don’t want them to notice me. I want to be invisible. I need to be invisible. The worst part is that I KNOW that isn’t the truth. I know that not everyone I meet is judging me, but I can’t get that thought out of my head.

Of course, there’s also the academic part of it. People call me Type A and an overachiever, but I don’t want to be an overachiever. I HAVE to be. Those little voices in my head tell me that I’m not good enough and that I’m never going to be good enough. So I work as hard as I possibly can in hopes I can finally be good enough for the voices to leave me alone.

But anxiety isn’t just about being scared of what people think… it’s not wanting to leave the house. It’s constantly being exhausted and wanting nothing more than to lay in bed all day for the rest of your life. It’s sometimes not wanting to eat or wanting to eat too much. It’s being needy to those that you have let into your life because you need to feel wanted. It’s acting like everything is okay when all you want to do is scream. It’s panic attacks over the tiny stuff that shouldn’t matter.

But I refuse to let it rule my life any longer. I don’t care if you think I’m weak… I’m not. I’m strong for asking for help when I know I can’t do it on my own.

I’m also asking God to take my problems and give me peace. I’m strengthening my relationship with Him the only way that I know how. By talking to Him. By reading His Word.

It’s time I start fighting back against this demon inside of me. It’s time to WIN.

I’m writing this mainly to get it all off of my chest, but I hope that along the way it helps someone understand that they’re not alone.

You’re never alone. Even in the hardest times.

Stay Golden,

Emily

What I Wish I Knew Before Pharmacy School

What do I wish I knew before starting Pharmacy School? That’s a loaded question. There are several things that I wish I knew about the profession and pharmacy school in general before I started, but here’s a list of the most important ones to me.

1. You don’t have to work in a pharmacy during school, but you can get so much out of it if you do.

Throughout my first year of pharmacy school, I didn’t work in a pharmacy at all except for my one-month community IPPE rotation. I didn’t feel like I would have the time. However, this year I did get a job and honestly, I have gotten a lot out of the experience. I work on the weekends as a Pharmacy Intern at a local community pharmacy, and I’m actually able to put the skills and knowledge that I’ve learned into practice.

2. Doing research with a professor can be rewarding, even if you had never had an interest in it before.

I never thought that I would be one to want to do research, but my advisor talked me into doing an educational research project with one of my professors, and I’m truly grateful for the opportunity. There are many different types of research that I really didn’t think about before. I’m glad that I was introduced to this.

3. Grades don’t matter as much as truly understanding the information. (You can’t always be a 4.0 student).

Throughout my whole life, I’ve cared about my grades. They’ve always been very important to me, but as time goes on in school, I realize more and more that there are much more valuable experiences that I can have that will mean more to me than my grades when I graduate. I’ve participated in lots of immunization clinics, become Vice President of a Christian Service Sorority, and I’ve worked hard at my new job. Just think, if I would have let grades (not knowledge) be the sole purpose of my life, I would have never branched out and done these things. (PS: Don’t worry, I’m still working hard at school).

4. You can get a whole lot out of it, or you can just do enough to get through it.

This kinda goes along with all of the numbers before this one. You can just stay in school, not be involved, and just get what you need to graduate. OR you can do other things and get a whole lot more out of your experience. It is totally up to you, and I know and love people who are doing both of these things.

5. You need to be open-minded about everything. Your views will probably change.

When I started pharmacy school, I was dead-set against working in a hospital. I have never really liked them. However, I’m hoping now that my hospital IPPE rotation this summer will give me a good insight into what it’s like. I’m trying to keep an open mind about it all.

If you have any other things to add, definitely comment them below.

Stay Golden,

Emily

The First Half of Christmas Break As Told By Gifs

Christmas break is one of my favorite times of the year.  I love the holidays. I love the decorations, the music, and the time spent with the ones I love. But I really love not having to go to school every day. Here’s a few GIFs to describe what my Christmas break typically looks like in the beginning.

Running out of my last final like…
Waking up after my first full night of sleep in ages
Doing my winter cleaning without a care in the world
When I sit down to watch Netflix and
end up watching a whole season.
Shopping for Christmas gifts at the last minute
because when have I had time?
Having a ME night because let’s face it…
I deserve it.
Baking my favorite holiday treats… or
just eating them.
When people ask me what my plans are
for break…

Enjoy the holidays and…

Stay Golden,

Emily

Every Day is a Holiday: Summer Edition

What’s better than a Summer full of holidays, full of celebrations, full of fun? Nothing. Here’s a list of daily holidays from the first official day of summer to the last. Hope you enjoy!

June 21- International Day of Yoga; Take some time today to de-stress and practice yoga.

June 22- National Chocolate Eclair Day; Ooooh YUM! Buy yourself or someone you care about a chocolate eclair today!

June 23- Global Smurfs Day; Watch any of your favorite Smurf movies (or all of them), wear blue, and enjoy this fun day.

June 24- Celebration of the Senses Day; Experiment with new things that bring happiness to your senses. Go to an art museum (sight), listen to new music (hearing), try a new food (taste), pick some flowers (smell), etc.

June 25- Global Beatles Day; listen to the Beatles and enjoy their music today.

June 26- Forgiveness Day; forgive those who have wronged you.

June 27- Sunglasses Day; wear those shades with pride!

June 28- International Body Piercing Day; you know… go get a piercing or appreciate those that you have!

June 29- National Camera Day; Take pictures and enjoy taking them.

June 30- Social Media Day; try something new on your social media or just post if you haven’t in a while.

July 1- American Zoo Day; HA! Go to the zoo, maybe?

July 2- Made in the USA Day; celebrate America by buying something made in the USA

July 3- American Redneck Day; bonfire, fishing, etc.

July 4- Independence Day (duh); enjoy the time with your friends and family.

July 5- Bikini Day; strut your stuff out by the pool or buy yourself a new bikini.

July 6- National Fried Chicken Day; go get yourself some fried chicken, please.

July 7- National Macaroni Day; Make your favorite Mac n Cheese.

July 8- National Ice Cream Sundae Day; Make or get an ice cream sundae.

July 9- National No Bra Day; skip the bra as a part of your daily routine.

July 10- Cow Appreciation Day; GO GET SOME CHICKFILA (but dress like a cow so you can get it for free)

July 11- National Blueberry Muffin Day; eat a blueberry muffin or make a tin of them yourself.

July 12- National Eat Your Jello Day; Make your favorite Jello flavor…or jello shots 😉

July 13- National French Fries Day; go get your favorite french fries

July 14- Shark Awareness Day; watch Jaws or another movie about a scary shark

July 15- Gummi Worm Day; enjoy a bag of your favorite original or sour gummi worms.

July 16- National Fresh Spinach Day; you’ve been eating a lot of junk over these holidays, make a spinach-based salad.

July 17- National Tattoo Day; get a tattoo or think about what you would get if you got one.

July 18- National Hot Dog Day; Yum. Eat yourself a hotdog.

July 19- National Daiquiri Day- Get your favorite flavor of Daiquiri

July 20- Nap Day; AH bless. Take a nice long nap.

July 21- National Junk Food Day; Eat your favorite junky snack.

July 22- Hammock Day; Lay out on a hammock and read a book (or take another nap)

July 23- National Vanilla Ice Cream Day; self-explanatory, but eat some ice cream

July 24- National Tell an Old Joke Day; come on… you know you love knock-knock jokes.

July 25- National Wine and Cheese Day; Have some friends over for some wine and cheese.

July 26- National Bagelfest Day; Eat a bagel

July 27- National Talk in an Elevator Day; Start up a conversation with some random person in an elevator.

July 28- National Milk Chocolate Day; get your favorite milk chocolate treat

July 29- National Lipstick Day; wear that lipstick with pride girl!

July 30- National Cheesecake Day; hmmm… this sounds like a trip to the cheesecake factory to me!

July 31- National Cotton Candy Day; Cotton candy is soooo great. Go find some.

Aug 1- National Girlfriends Day; Celebrate with your favorite girl friends.

Aug 2- National Coloring Book Day; Color a pretty picture

Aug 3- National Watermelon Day; Eat some watermelon and relax

Aug 4- National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day; Bake some chocolate chip cookies for your favorite person

Aug 5- National Underwear Day; Buy some new underwear

Aug 6- National Root Beer Float Day; Have a root beer float (or any other type of float if you don’t like root beer)

Aug 7- Beach Party Day; have a beach party

Aug 8- International Cat Day; love your cat (or adopt a cat)

Aug 9- Book Lovers Day; Read a book

Aug 10- National Lazy Day; Lay around all day and do nothing

Aug 11- Annual Medical Check-up Day; go get your check-up!

Aug 12- Baseball Fans Day; Watch baseball, or maybe play it.

Aug 13- National Filet Mignon Day; have a nice filet.

Aug 14- National Creamsicle Day; eat a creamsicle or creamsicle flavored treats

Aug 15- National Relaxation Day; Relax

Aug 16- National Roller Coaster Day; go to a theme park

Aug 17- National Nonprofit Day; volunteer for a nonprofit or donate to one.

Aug 18- National Fajita Day; find a place that sells fajitas and dig in

Aug 19 -National Potato Day; eat your favorite potato-y treat

Aug 20- National Lemonade Day; drink that lemonade

Aug 21- Senior Citizens Day; go volunteer at a rest home or spend time with your favorite senior.

Aug 22- National Eat a Peach Day; go peach picking!

Aug 23- Buttered Corn Day; mmm, eat some corn.

Aug 24- National Waffle Day; make your favorite type of waffles.

Aug 25- National Whiskey Sour Day; that’s right… go get a whiskey sour!

Aug 26- National Dog Day; adopt a dog or go pet them at your local pet store.

Aug 27- Just Because Day; do something just because you want to.

Aug 28- Red Wine Day; drink that wine.

Aug 29- Lemon Juice Day; make something that involves lemon juice.

Aug 30- National Toasted Marshmallow Day; do you really need an excuse for a bonfire?

Aug 31- Eat Outside Day; enjoy the weather and have a meal outside

Sept 1- World Letter Writing Day; write a letter to a friend or family member

Sept 2- World Coconut Day; have something with coconut as an ingredient

Sept 3- Labor Day (duh); spend time with family and friends

Sept 4- Eat an Extra Dessert Day; yes please!

Sept 5- National Cheese Pizza Day; isn’t every day national pizza day?

Sept 6- Read a Book Day; try to read a whole book in one day

Sept 7- National Beer Lover’s Day; go try a new beer

Sept 8- National Actors Day; watch your favorite actors in your favorite movies

Sept 9- National Teddy Bear Day; buy a teddy bear for a loved one or someone random.

Sept 10- World Suicide Prevention Day; offer to talk with people who you know are hurting.

Sept 11- 9/11 😦

Sept 12- National Chocolate Milkshake Day; make your favorite chocolate milkshake

Sept 13- Positive Thinking Day; think positively

Sept 14- National Bakery Day; go to your local bakery and get something sweet

Sept 15- International Eat an Apple Day; eat an apple to off-set all of the junk you’ve been eating

Sept 16- National Guacamole Day; go get something that involves guac

Sept 17- National Apple Dumpling Day; mmmm go get apple dumplings

Sept 18- National Cheeseburger Day; have a cheeseburger from your favorite place

Sept 19- International Talk Like a Pirate Day; Arrrgh, Matey.

Sept 20- National String Cheese Day; find some string cheese

Sept 21- Minature Golf Day; play a round of mini-golf

Sept 22- National White Chocolate Day; pick up your favorite white chocolate surprise

And that’s a wrap on a great summer of daily celebrations. There are several more holidays on these days, but these are the ones I liked the most. Comment if you tried any of these things.

Stay Golden,

Emily

My Favorite Beauty Products

Sometimes being a girl can be hard. We get judged for wearing too much makeup or not enough. We get judged for our weight whether we have too much or not enough. We get judged by the clothes we wear… again if its too much or not enough. There is no in between for us girls. I don’t wear a lot of makeup, but I do wear some. I care about my appearance just like everyone else… so here are my favorite beauty products:

Foundation:

 

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Maybelline Fit Me Foundation in the shade Classic Ivory (#120) because I’m pale as a ghost. This foundation is perfect for me because it gives a little bit of coverage, but it doesn’t look or feel caked on.

Concealer:

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Covergirl Ready, Set, Gorgeous in the shade Light/Medium. This concealer does a really good job of covering up my dark circles and pimples from the stress and lack of sleep that college gives me.

Brow Set:

E.L.F Brow Duo in the shade Light and E.L.F Brow setting gel. For days when my brows are all over the place, these are my go tos.

Mascara: 

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Estee Lauder Sumptuous Extreme Mascara in the shade Extreme Black. This mascara lengthens my eyelashes like no other… and the best part is that I’m still on the trial size that I was given MONTHS ago.

All in all, most of my beauty products are drugstore products. I don’t like spending lots of money on makeup because you just wash it off at the end of the day.

If you try any of these products and love them, let me know!

Stay Golden,

Emily

My Lifelong Bucket List

Hey loves, this is just a small list of things that I hope to accomplish in my life and be able to be the best version of me that I can be. I hope to fall in love, but more importantly, I hope to be happy in all that I do. Hope this gives you some ideas.

  1. Travel to all 50 states.
  2. Have and/or adopt 1-3 kids
  3. Do everything in my power to make said kids happy
  4. Spend quality time with my family
  5. Get married and have a solid foundation for that marriage
  6. Be the best Pharmacist possible
  7. Always remember to be thankful for what I have
  8. Save money
  9. Get a puppy
  10. Make time for the people that I care about
  11. Talk to long-distance friends as much as possible and plan yearly reunions
  12. Give back as much as possible
  13. Do lots of volunteering
  14. Stay fit
  15. BE HAPPY.

Stay Golden,

Emily

I Need a New Hobby…

Good gracious… Sometimes I wonder how in the world I survive when I’m bored seeing as I don’t really have any hobbies. This post is really just a rant about how everyone needs hobbies. I need to find a new hobby because let’s be honest, when people ask me about my hobbies, I really have no idea what to say. But the question is… what exactly counts as a hobby? I never really knew what is considered a hobby, so I googled it.

A hobby is something done for your pleasure or relaxation; a hobby is something that you enjoy to do in your freetime.

Below is a list of a few things that are considered hobbies:

  1. Photography
  2. Playing Music
  3. Embroidery
  4. Drawing
  5. Painting
  6. Singing
  7. Ice Skating
  8. Yoga
  9. Hiking
  10. Jogging
  11. Horseback Riding
  12. Bird Watching
  13. Collecting
  14. Hunting
  15. ETC.

So as you can see, basically anything can be a hobby, and I need to take one up in my free time.

Comment and let me know some of your favorite hobbies because I’m curious.

Stay Golden,

Emily

New Year’s Resolutions… or New Year’s Dissolutions?

Okay, bear with me on this one… a dissolution is the dissolving of something; dissolution is the breaking of a bond. So here’s why I’m suggesting that you make a New Year’s Dissolution, or a few, along with your resolutions.

You must accept things that you cannot (or should not) change.

Dissolve the efforts that you have been working tirelessly at to change other people. Other people are only going to change themselves. Make a dissolution of those detrimental “I can save everyone” thoughts… I have plenty of those to get rid of too. Some people don’t want to be saved.

Change the things that you can change, but be realistic.

If you want to lose weight, don’t start by going to the gym for 4 hours a day for a week straight. Give yourself rest days. Don’t start a crazy diet that doesn’t allow for the occasional cheat… you’ll burn out so quickly and revert back to old ways before you’ve had a chance to breathe.

If you want to become more outgoing, don’t expect yourself to be going to parties every weekend… start out small. Start small conversations with the cashier when you are checking out at the grocery store.

For resolutions that you are actually able to complete, you have to start with baby steps and be realistic.

Cut out people that make your life miserable.

This one right here is a dissolution of sorts. Dissolve these relationships with toxic people, not to hurt them, but to better yourself and take care of yourself.

All in all, it is a new year… treat yourself better, treat people better, and make sure that you’re trying to do what’s right. If you have the resolution to change something about your physical appearance, make sure that you are doing so in a healthy way. Maintain a healthy lifestyle and a healthy mind.

And as always…

Stay Golden,

Emily