Being Alone But Not Lonely

It’s Autumn, and that means that it is “cuffing season.” Being single can be hard.

It’s hard when everyone around you is getting engaged, getting married, or starting a family. Heck most of my friends will be starting their careers in 2019 or have already done it.

It’s harder still because social media makes you feel like EVERYONE around you is doing these things. “So and so just got engaged”… *insert cute wedding pictures from another couple’s wedding*

Your brain (if you’re anything like me) is constantly nagging at you: “what’s wrong with you?”…”why are you still single?”… “you’re going to be alone forever.”

It’s hard to deal with these emotions, but it’s not impossible. It doesn’t have to be depressing, sad, or stressful to be single.

Here are my tips on how to be alone but not lonely, and how to remind yourself that you still have plenty of time to find that great love:

1. Spend time with other single people. This one is probably rather obvious, but it helps a lot. When you’re constantly hanging around couples all of the time, it’s no wonder you feel terrible. They’re great friends and you should spend time with them, but don’t forget the friends you have that are single. Hang out with them as a group to feel less lonely…and maybe even one of them will be interested in you without you realizing!

2. Spend time with family. This is probably another obvious one. For me, this meant moving back home, but for others this could just mean visiting every now and again or calling them on the phone. Your family is always going to be there, and talking to them is a great way to feel less lonely.

3. Date yourself. This one is the most crucial to me. Take yourself on dates, spoil yourself with attention and “me time.” You won’t regret giving your extra attention to your mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing.

4. Save that money. One of the perks of being single is that you don’t have to spend money on a significant other. Save your extra money for something you’ve really been wanting or start a travel fund.

5. Keep a journal. Every day, write down 3 things that you like about yourself or your life, 2 things that you would like to improve, and 1 thing that you’re thankful for. Work on the things that you need to improve and always think about the things that you like about yourself. Most of the time, if you feel confident about yourself, it’ll show through your attitude and will be attractive.

6. Don’t worry, don’t put yourself down. One of the biggest mistakes we make when we are single is complaining about how much we wish we had someone, how we don’t think we will ever find someone, or how we don’t understand why nobody likes us. First of all, someone does like you! You just don’t know it yet. You have to keep up faith that you will find someone because it’s that lack of faith that leads to the loneliness of being single. The feeling that you’ll never find someone.

7. Remember it comes when you least expect it. Live your life for you. Focus on you and bettering yourself. It will come when it’s supposed to, but until then, enjoy your life and cherish the extra time you get to spend with friends and family.

Stay Golden,

Emily

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